phlawless

Now this is a story all about how
I rose to political and military power
So I’d like to take a minute - what do you say? -
To tell you how I became the boss of the DPRK.

In north-west Korea I was born and raised
In Switzerland is where I spent my school days
Learning foreign languages, eating steak
And racing some jetskis out on the lake
When my brother, who was the successor as planned,
Got caught sneaking into Disneyland
So when my dad dropped dead, the whole Party gang
Said: “You’re ruling with your aunty and uncle in Pyongyang.”

I whistled for a tank, and when it came near
They called me “Brilliant Comrade” and saluted in fear
I told them they were spending 20 years in the camps
But then I said “Only joking. Yo! Home to Pyongyang!”

I pulled up to the palace ‘bout 7 or 8 
And I took out my uncle and shot him as a traitor
Looked at my kingdom, what a glorious day
To sit on the throne of the DPRK.