vostoklake: (lolassrape)
"I am a Sufi, but that wasn't a meditative chant, I was singing a Velvet Underground song."
vostoklake: (pterry and neil)
To bring about order from chaos
Is what indexers aim to achieve;
Reminiscent of God’s first creation,
Work mighty indeed to conceive.
I spend my days in the endeavour
To impose whole correctness, no less;
All the text most efficiently signalled –
Yet my desk’s in a terrible mess.

Entries placed where each reader may seek them,
Abstract concepts are all analysed
In elegant style, and with headings
Precisely, concisely devised.
Cross-references all integrated
In a model of intricateness;
Alphabeticisation is flawless –
So how come my house is a mess?

Deft structure of stratified headings
To a nicety graded and ranked;
Hierarchy of neat indentations
Wherein layers of meaning are banked.
If you asked, ‘Is control here quite perfect?’
I could answer with confidence, ‘Yes’;
All is accurate, clear and consistent –
So why is my life such a mess?

Hazel K. Bell
vostoklake: (punch)
"Q. Could Nite Owl beat Batman if he had a week to prepare and Batman didn't?"

"A. Not if it was a boner-getting contest."
vostoklake: (Default)
ME: So where are you from?
HER: France.
ME: Ah, oui. Je croyais que je pouvais entendre la langue Française...
HER: ... yeah, especially when I'm telling off the kid!
ME: Well, when that happens, vous parlez trop vite pour moi à comprendre... but I get the general idea!
vostoklake: (lesbians? in my spaceship?)
After I left the truth and realized I was a lesbian, my husband and I reconciled to a large degree. We became friends, and put our marriage behind us. When we got divorced, we settled everything without lawyers or any disputes, we went to the courthouse together, and he, my girlfriend and I went out to lunch after the papers were signed. Eventually, he moved in with me and my girlfriend and became our roommate. It sounds weird to everyone else, but it works well for us. (Straight men who hear of this always give him this "atta boy" look. Sorry, everybody, it's not like THAT.)

vostoklake: (Default)
Just out of my inbox this instant. I found it hilarious.

All English ruling class ladies are called Thatcher )
vostoklake: (crazy)
I want to do one of those amusingly-subtitled Hitler-rant videos. That begins something like this:

GENERALS: "Sir, the last episode of Dollhouse is getting rave reviews. All the blogs love it to death. Even better than Epitaph One, some of them say. A real 'wham' episode."
HITLER: "All good. Can't wait to see how Joss tops this in season three."
GENERALS: "Sir... the ratings are still rock-bottom abysmal. Fox is taking it off air all November. It looks like Dollhouse will be cancelled after episode 13."
HITLER: "... all Fox Network executives leave the room, now."

(cue insane rant - anyone want to help me finish this?)