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I'm afraid to say that admirers can be a tremendous force for conservatism, for consolidation. Of course it's really wonderful to be acclaimed for things you've done - in fact it's the only serious reward, becasue it makes you think "it worked! I'm not isolated!" or something like that, and it makes you feel gratefully connected to your own culture. But on the other hand, there's a tremendously strong pressure to repeat yourself, to do more of that thing we all liked so much. I can't do that - I don't have the enthusiasm to push through projects that seem familiar to me ( - this isn't so much a question of artistic nobility or high ideals: I just get too bloody bored), but at the same time I do feel guilt for 'deserting my audience' by not doing the things they apparently wanted. I'd rather not feel this guilt, actually, so I avoid finding out about situations that could cause it.
Full version here. I must say the guy has a point that the problem with having fans is that you feel the pressure to keep doing what those fans like. Luckily I only have one real fan and I never take her advice. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-14 07:47 pm (UTC)But if those who bought the stuff weren't friends, I always kind of had to dance for the buyers. The dialogues always went like "that's good, I like - so, what is it?" and then I felt obliged to come up with longwinded explanations instead of just saying that a picture is a picture and an essay is an essay and a speech is a speech, so if you want a picture here's the picture, give me the money and leave me alone.
The very disappointing insight was, that if I'd ever could choose the option of living on this, I'd helplessly depend on the whims and egos of the buyers, even worse than I'm depending on the bloody 38.5-hours-per-week job that I'm in.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-14 09:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-14 10:42 pm (UTC)