Huh.

[vostoklake]

If I'd known that so many cool people thought I was so cool, I might have dared a bit more in my life. But that's what they call "remorse of conscience". Awareness of missed opportunities stimulates awareness of what might be on offer in the right-here-right-now.

You see, the image I have in my mind is that people in general think I'm kind of gawky, embarrassing and irritating, and would rather I not be around (or, if I have to be around, then I should shut up and do what I'm told). I don't tend to believe that anyone values my smarts or my creativity, I think it just annoys or intimidates people. But I've never found it in me to be normal, or even to act normal - so I just avoid people so as to avoid upsetting them or myself.

I want to stop doing that, because it's a very limiting and melancholy lifestyle, but that'll take a conscious effort of mindfulness and relaxation.

Comments

[mainfisch]

If we really rely on the picture that we're seeing in the mirror that is called "other people", then we probably have to dare to believe in what we see, just "as is", don't we?

I mean, the other option is to say "I don't give a fuck" and to head on following our own star, but this might become pretty lonely, even if - against all odds - it is the high road to success.